Remember to help yourself

I have had the winter and spring from hell. I have done more funerals since the New Year than all the total funerals I have done since my ordination. (4 years now)
One of these was the husband of a close friend. He had been ill a short time and his passing was not a surprise. It was however, painful to see the complete loss felt by his family and friends. There were 5 more to come in close succession.
Another funeral was the most difficult funeral I ever hope to do. My best friend and closest companion of 34 years died suddenly and totally unexpectedly. I didn't even know she had gone into the hospital. The first I knew of it was when I got the call that she had passed away. I was devastated! I didn't know how I was going to be able to get through her service without falling apart myself. I believe when something like this happens, to put the whole matter squarely on God's shoulders. I did and S/He saw me through.
After the fact was even more of a problem. I went into a very dark place. My hubby said I wasn't eating or drinking. I had become so depressed and I didn't even realize what was happening.
I was useful to the family of my friend and frequently counseled them. I met with her husband many times and helped him, but I forgot about one person entirely. ME!
Thank goodness others around me saw what was happening and stepped in. It is an important lesson to be learned. Remember, as a spiritual counselor, you too may need some help along the way. When you are overwhelmed by the losses of others, you cannot help them if you are not together yourself. I didn't realize how deeply I had been affected by 6 funerals in less the 4 months and for the last one to be someone so close just threw me off my stride.
I have learned that as the spiritual base for others, you too need to have a support structure for yourself.
Maybe this will help some others out there who fact this situation too.